Coming Out of The Infertility Closet: Why I’m grateful to be “infertile”

A few celebrities have recently opened up about their fertility journeys: Jaime King of “Hart of Dixie” fame (5 rounds of IVF, 26 IUIs, 5 miscarriages; pregnant naturally with 1st and now 2nd child), Elizabeth Banks (embryo implantation issues; parenthood via surrogate), Giuliana Rancic (2 rounds of IVF and two miscarriages; gestational carrier after breast cancer), Tom Arnold (male factor; 21 rounds of IVF with 4 different wives), Courteney Cox (recurrent miscarriage; played infertile character on “Friends” while dealing with real-life infertility), Jimmy Fallon (parenthood via surrogacy after 5 years of treatments), among others. Despite these revelations, it is still known as one of Hollywood’s (and society’s) “dirty little secrets”.

I’ve personally been on the fertility road for 6 long years. Along the way, I’ve learned so much about myself, about the resiliency of my marriage to my wonderful husband, and perhaps most importantly, I’ve learned to allow this journey to make me better, rather than bitter. Were there dark times? Of course! But so much amazing growth and so many important lessons have come from this battle – many of which we wouldn’t have otherwise learned. Since my husband and I opened up about our journey a couple of years ago, so many of our friends and acquaintances have found the strength and the courage to “come out of the infertility closet” as well.

It’s incredibly important to have a good support system in place, people to laugh with, to cry with, and to both celebrate and grieve the ups and downs of this journey. It has been said that the most comforting phrase in the English language is “Me too.” So it begs the question, why do so many choose to suffer in silence? Why are people afraid of speaking up about their journey to parenthood? It has been amazing to see the utter relief from friends’ faces when they realize that they have found someone in whom to confide their fears and grief that often comes with the territory of infertility, realizing that it’s not just them who are struggling. Opening up and talking about your experiences is not only healthy, but liberating; it lifts the burden that you were never meant to carry alone.

It is absolutely essential to look after all aspects of yourself while enduring fertility trials. You may be focused on your physical body for the duration of this journey, for obvious reasons. But equally important (or perhaps even more so) are your emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Finding HypnoFertility® and its creator, Lynsi Eastburn, was the missing link for me on this, helping me to reclaim a sense of calm, balance, and joy that I never realized were even possible. It gave me my life back! People who have known me for many years frequently comment that I’ve made a total transformation over the last couple of years – and I always tell them that I have Lynsi to thank for that. I am thankful for this fertility journey, and especially for having found such an incredible resource and gift that is HypnoFertility®.

There’s nothing to be ashamed about if you’re on this journey; it can actually be quite empowering if you allow it to be. I believe that this journey was meant as a test, and it is my choice whether to let it make or break me. I choose to use it to strengthen me rather than tear me down, and it is because of this that I am coming out victorious on the other side of infertility.

~Kari, Office Manager, Eastburn Hypnotherapy Center

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2 thoughts on “Coming Out of The Infertility Closet: Why I’m grateful to be “infertile”

  1. Beautifully said Kari!! So much of what you said resonated with me… I’ve never really thought of as Hollywood’s dirty little secret – but it’s so true and that ripple effect has left us as a society struggling with the fear, isolation, shame and loneliness that fertility challenges bring… Which is why I too started Sprout & Co. Congrats on an amazing, authentic and heartfelt first post – can’t wait to see what comes next and share our journey’s together. Big hugs lovely xox

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kari, this is very well said. So many couples in this struggle need to read these words you have written and maybe then it will change from an isolated struggle to a journey that they can travel on with all sorts of support around them. Infertility is not something to deal with alone and we should all encourage couples to be more open and honest and not feel ashamed and hide. Sending light and love. Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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